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Train 

Wanker. Trying to walk down the carriage (I’m over halfway down) and the guy in a suit coming the other way won’t stand aside. I shouldn’t have moved for that see you next Tuesday. Clearly the world is preparing me for a return to Egypt.

Oldies from the old mobile 

Trying to make space. 

 

Green and pleasant 

In England for two weeks. It’s so green and clean and quiet. 

Stranded for ten hours getting here as we were due to fly Turkish Airlines via Istanbul. Never be stranded in Cairo airport. Never. Vile isn’t the word. 

Watched a bit of Benefits Barbie on the dole, following unemployed people in Stockton, Bradford and Doncaster. It reminded me how fortunate I am now, and how bloody hard it can be unemployed. 

Hello, Thirty.

Yesterday was my 30th birthday. Although I’m sad, it’s increasingly obvious I dodged a bullet by not staying.

Sneaking in ‘Oh my Mother will live with us when she gets old’ right after ‘I don’t want you to have to assimilate more into my culture than I do into yours’ was a good attempt, but really.

Mine  will be moving to another country whilst yours is around the corner. Yes, culture, I hear you cry,  but no in-law equity.

And surprise Ramadan adherence? When we met he bought me beers. When did this fear of eternal hellfire land on the doorstep, or creep in through the shutters? And would it not be polite to explain to your partner a sudden religosity?

White aubergine sunset wanker

After trying white aubergine for the first time last night I spent the next ten hours having horrendous stomach cramps. (If contractions are anything similar, should I ever become pregnant, I’ll be on morphine from about month seven onwards…)

Behold a jaunty sunset from the balcony of dust and rapidly-multiplying cacti:

IMG_20160429_183903[1]

“An Open Letter to the Touts

Of Egypt”

I have just found the most wonderful open letter from a woman that perfectly sums up all experiences I ever had in any vaguely touristy area here when I am not walking next to the Egyptian. Every single one. Down to the yelling “No hassle!” when getting right in your face, and the Arabic swearing. This author is brilliant: http://www.escapeartistes.com/2012/04/16/an-open-letter-to-the-touts-of-egypt/

Cheers, First Transpenine

Half an hour gap between trains at Carnforth station and there are no toilets. Walked up into town with my luggage and the damn pay toilets are closed. Okay I can hold it 20 more minutes but what if I had a baby or was an older person? The folk in Brief Encounter didn’t have to deal with this nonsense!

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